Happy Father’s Day! One type of humor that fathers seem to excel at is the infamous “dad joke.” These jokes, often met with cringes and eye-rolls, have a special place in writers’ hearts because they rely on puns and wordplay. Today, Outskirts Press presents this collection of the 50 most popular “dad jokes” we found causing giggles and groans all around the internet:
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because she was outstanding in her field!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Want to hear a construction joke? Oh, never mind; I’m still working on it!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
What did the grape say after being stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved!
I’m reading a book on the history of glue; I can’t seem to put it down!
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
Did you hear about the woman who invented Lifesavers? They say she made a mint!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide-and-seek? Because he was always spotted!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad!
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye deer!
Why are tomatoes red? They get embarrassed when they see the salad dressing!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison!
What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
I was going to tell you a time-traveling joke, but… never mind. You didn’t like it.
I have a great joke about pizza, but… never mind. It’s too cheesy.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Did you hear about the truck transporting steaks that got into a wreck? Some car T-boned it.
What do astronauts eat for protein? Launch meat.
What did the ham say walking out of the hospital? I’m cured!
Which knight of the round table was the beefiest? Sir Loin.
What did the exasperated man serve at his barbecue? Sheesh kabobs.
Do you know the most important job of a grill master at a restaurant? To please their steak holders.
My neighbor got sued for a fire his grill started. He filed for an appeal when he lost and it ended up in a pellet court.
I told my dad he had to quit smoking. When it came to his health we just couldn’t brisket.
What’s the difference between a dad and a grill? A grill runs out of gas.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be called bagels!
Where do seagulls grab a drink after work? The sandbar.
Where do fish keep their money? In a riverbank!
What comes once in every minute, twice in every moment, but one even once in a thousand years? The letter M!
What’s the best kind of bird to work for at a construction company? A crane!
What did the T-Rex use to cut wood? A dino-saw!
I got fired from my job as a taxi driver. Turns out nobody thought I was fare!
What do you call a snake that loves building houses? A boa constructor!
Why did the woman put her money in the freezer? She wanted cold hard cash!
Dad jokes bring a special kind of humor to our lives, and writers in particular can appreciate their reliance on puns, innuendo, and wordplay. If you find yourself chuckling at these 50 popular dad jokes, you might have the perfect start to self-publishing your own joke book. Outskirts Press can assist you in bringing your book to life, offering services such as interior formatting, professional cover design, and even full-color illustrations. Let the world enjoy your own brand of witty humor, and who knows, maybe you’ll create the next beloved collection of jokes, riddles, and puns.
This Father’s Day, let’s celebrate the joy that fathers bring into our lives and pay tribute to their pun-tastic wit. Happy Father’s Day to all the amazing dads out there!
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